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Funny Ways to Get Rid of Telemarketers

Telemarketers are instructed to call during certain times of the day in hopes of conjuring up more business and sales, but those times are not always the most convenient times for consumers. Unwanted phone calls do not have to be just an annoyance; they can be an opportunity for fun and maybe a little mischief.

Just Say No
- Saying "no" is the most powerful tool you have in your arsenal against telemarketers. After all, it is their job to get you to say "yes" to whatever product or service they are selling. Reiterate your point by repeating "no" over and over again. Vary the sound of each "no" and try to keep an even tempo even as the telemarketer tries to speak to you. Periodically throw in a fake bad attempt at an accent, such as one from Jamaica or Britain. Another option is to sing a song of "no" forms until the telemarketer gets the message and ends the call.
Be a Best Friend
- Many phone companies solicit customers to sign up their friends and family members. When a telemarketer calls and asks you about the plan, remain calm and listen to the pitch. Afterward, ask in the most sinister voice possible, "I don't have any friends. Would you be my friend?" If your pleas for friendship do not work, trying asking "Please?" Repeat until the telemarketer hangs up. Another idea after the pitch is to ask the telemarketer to marry you. Explain that you could not give out your credit card number to just anyone and would prefer to only give it out to your fiance.
Invite to Dinner
- One of the most annoying things about telemarketers is when they call during dinnertime. The next time a salesperson phones you while you are trying to eat, ask if they would please hold. Then, put on the phone's speaker function and proceed to eat at your leisure. Leave table manners out the door, and smack your food loudly as you continue with the dinner conversation. Another thing you can do is to ask the telemarketer what his favorite food is. When he answers, reply back that was what you were going to eat. Then proceed to mention the other side dishes, desserts or other food items that accompany your meal. Finish with: "Does that make you hungry? Because I sure am hungry."
Provide Career Advice
- Another option to try would be to give the unwanted caller a little advice. After the telemarketer has gone over the details of the product she is selling, politely ask her whether she has ever considered a career in broadcasting. Insist that you love the sound of her voice and that radio would be a great choice for her. Then, turn on your radio and place the phone receiver by the speaker.

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