Hobbies And Interests
Service
Gary Chapman suggests that families should have an attitude of service. This means that family members should do things for others because they choose to do so and not because they are forced to do so. When family members give because they are forced to, which Mr. Chapman describes as "slavery," he says that it hardens the heart and creates anger, bitterness and resentment. This sign of a loving family follows the saying that "it is better to give than to receive."
Intimacy
Intimacy between a husband and wife is maintained through the process of communication. Mr. Chapman states that the two simple elements of communication are talking and listening. For example, the husband conveys his thoughts, feelings and experiences while the wife listens to the information and tries to understand what her husband is thinking and feeling. In turn, the wife expresses her own thoughts, feelings and experiences while the husband listens and tries to understand.
Leadership
Mr. Chapman explains that another sign of a loving family is having a husband who is a loving leader. It is important to be both loving and a leader because one cannot stand without the other. Leadership without love can lead to despotism, and likewise, love without leadership may lead to weakness. Not only does the husband have to express being a loving leader as a husband, but as a father as well.
Teaching
Another sign of a loving family is one with parents who give guidance to their children. In order to give guidance, parents have to teach and train their children. Mr. Chapman suggests teaching your children by word and reason. Parents should answer the question "why" for children, so that children understand the reason behind a rule or request. The philosophy is that if children understand why, they are more likely to respond positively to their parents.
Obedience
In order to have a loving family, Mr. Chapman says that children should obey and honor their parents. Children learn the value of obedience when they know that it brings positive consequences and being disobedient brings negative consequences. Therefore, parents should focus on loving their children and making them feel loved, as well as making sure that children experience the consequences of their behavior. In order to make this possible, parents need to set rules and good and bad consequences, as well as administer discipline.